i may not have completed your video project. but i just want ppl to know thats it is not my fault. i have did what i can. i did a video report, i did the storyboard, i met with the editors personally without their knowledge, travelling out of office just to meet them, i gathered what i need, i brainstormed alone, i did everything. i even did a january and february calendar so that the editors and i could follow the schedule. so just based on that account, how can it be my fault that the video is not complete? i dont even need to explain myself what happened after she stepped into the office on the 28th of january.

i mean, i planned every single thing, right up to the minute details on what should happen if this or that problem arises, etc etc. so how can one not feel disappointed with oneself after one have planned so much but then have it thrown away just when everything is about to fall in place?

i am frustrated, yes i am. but do i have a good reason or reasons to be? you judge for yourself my friends.

maybe you will say, okay saiful, you just had a bad day and nobody knows it. relax, we're here for you. you may say that, or you may not. and if you did, i will like to thank you cos i need support from every single one of you.

its 4 plus now and yea, maybe i had a bad day. but who wont? is there anybody that likes to clean up mess that they didnt make?

justin was on leave today and maryann came to me, asking me to take care of the lounge from 1o to 11. i said okay. i did what i was told. then i planned to have lunch at 1. the time was 12:48 when kak lela called and asked me to help kak yati to clean up the bloody mess that KF and his co did. and i was thinking, why should i be doing this? shouldnt KF and his friends do the job? after all, ppl who reserved the lounge always setup their own stuff, and then clean up their own stuff, and then put everything back in order.

but today was an exception. when i came there to help kak yati, i was surprised to hear from her that it was boss who asked me to help her as he was very angry to see the place dirty. and again i thought to myself, he was there for the function, he knew what was going to happen, so i was very surprised to hear that he was angry. and okay, i told myself to calm down as he may be having a bad day. but didnt it occur to him that it wasnt me nor kak yati who did the mess? so why in hell should we, the two of us, clean it up? what entitles us to be in such lucky positions? what do we have that the other staffs dont have? why chose just the two of us? and all the other factors came shooting straight into my head.

you may ask why am i so angry? why not just do it la. then let me ask you this question. if some dog, shit inside the lift, and someone were to ask you to clean it, will you clean it? of cos you wont. cos you would say, why should i clean it? why cant you clean it? why cant the rest of the residents clean it? why cant the dog clean it? why cant the dog owner clean it? why me? and are you going to show your appreciation to me after i have cleaned the lift? are you even going to thank me sincerely for cleaning up a mess that i didnt even made? where is the fairness in this company?

kak yati is old, as old as my mom, and i helped her clean the lounge becos of that simple reason. i cant bear imagine my own mom cleaning a place where she wasnt responsible for even a single drop of water. so thats why i was there. i cant bear hearing the news that she is going to do it alone. i had to help her. but along the way i got frustrated and this was what happened.

i cant be blamed for being angry can i?

Done By: Saiful